Undulating in the Dale of Silver

Undulations. It's a nice word isn't it? So much more pleasant than precipitous or plunging.

Welcome to Silverdale. Just south of the mainly mountainous Lakes in a tucked away corner of north Lancashire; a secret, undulating, verdant oasis bypassed by the honeypot bound hillwalkers and mountain bikers, ripe for an easy day's skateploitation.

A lovely day out road testing the new heel brake and flat wheel set-up. A few miles of rolling, lush countryside, ancient woods of oak, yew, beech and holly seasonally bedecked with ivy; forest glades dappled with wintery sunlight, resonant with the melodious call and response of the blackbird and the throaty smokers' cough of the jay. The timeless scent of woodsmoke drifting lazily in the air and rich, moist earthiness of leaves being gently recycled by nature on the forest floor.
A sound in the distance. A vague rumbling and incoherent mumbling, becoming louder. Protestations about undulations. A hidden red deer nuzzling acorns discreetly from the loam pricks up his ears.



And then:






The deer leaps gracefully into deep cover. The jay hacks a spitball and coughs out its fag as it darts into the higher branches. Farmers fling themselves in their own slurry pits in terror...well we can hope can't we?


Yep, it's all gonna be shattered next week by the banshee shriek of the heelbrake failing to slow the skating lunatic's
mad descent
on the
unsuspected and unsignposted one in four that appeared from nowhere around a blind bend. Ah, the smell of burning urethane in the morning, there's nothing like it.



Heelbrake testing in the wild to commence next Tuesday.





























Photos of Silverdale nicked from flickr
Courtesy:
focusmania
Jenny Mackness
spg_mutts
ministry

A shameful weekend

of full sun in the Lakes...but no skating! I know, I know - a wasted opportunity and I am ashamed of myself. My only excuse was the tarmac never quite drying out after the heavy morning dew. And the roads being never much less than one in five gradients anywhere. Oh and being knackered from fell walking; being knackered from trail running; being knackered from heavy cake consumption; and the SRD hill-braking system being as yet untried.





Normal misbehaviour will resume shortly. Just need to find a hill in/around Southport to
test the bleedin' brake. And then wait for the cover of darkness. Oh the shame.








Edit:


The SRD braking system is now un-untried. As of tonight I'm coming out of the closet as a fully born again heel brake user.

Not because they slow you down descending hills easily, which they do; nor because they're gonna transform my Lakes skating, which they are. No, it's because they make a MEGA-SQUEAL which, in the dark frightens the pants off any pedestrians within half mile of one. Cool.

Of SRDs and bananas

Ok here it is: I don't like them, you don't like them. To be honest we're all a bit ashamed of them. I've already been mocked by in certain quarters just for mentioning them. But we need to try these things; if we don't experiment we never learn anything. Apparently they emit a terrible squealing noise when dragged along the ground causing onlookers to leap aside in terror. They even leave marks on the floor if depressed too firmly. But dogwalkers who use extendable leads need to be punished and punished severely - so strapping them to the back of one's skates and using them as a heel brake down
steep hills is fully justifiable
and kills two birds with one stone in my book.

Meanwhile, I've managed to discreetly acquire a much less fun but infinitely more embarrassing speed retardant device. This probably isn't really designed for banana-rockered wheels. As you can see from the photos, there's about 4 mm clearance when the skate is on the middle two wheels, but when on the rear wheels it's about 2mm.





This should be fine as long as I'm skating on marble. Newly polished marble. Bouncing around the Lakes on rutted tarmac is going to more difficult. Every time I surmount a blade of grass or traverse a mote of dust I'm gonna grind to a halt as the SRD touches down.
One alternative may be to mount it on the front of the frame to act as a kind of snow plough to clear a path in the sheep pooey areas?
Actually, now I come to think of it mounting the dog walkers at the front to act as the sheep poo plough may be the best option.


At the moment, however, the best I can do is to have three 80mm wheels at the rear, removing the rocker at the back, and sticking with the 76mm wheel at the front to allow some manoeuvrability. I believe this is known as the "EU banana rocker" as it conforms to European curvature standards.
I'd like to try this set up out in Southport before my next skatepedition next Tuesday, but:

A. There are no hills whatsoever in Southport.
B. Small children on plastic Barbie skates would mock & kick sand in my face
C. I would be harangued within an inch of my life by my skating colleague CK.

So SkatesLakesBrakes here we come.